I’ve Changed My Mind
It wasn’t the first time I had my face in gravel. My torn pants, pebble-embedded hands, and bent fender were all evidence that I had forgotten the golden rule of motorcycle riding—where your eyes go, the bike will go. I let my thoughts latch on to doubt when faced with an obstacle, my awareness slipped, I followed the fear, and ended up eating dirt. Letting fear take the handlebars, me and the bike skidded into the ground. Riding my motorcycle is a thrill for the senses and a great teacher of the life lesson that where we allow our thoughts and feelings to focus is where our life is headed.
A radical truth is that thoughts and feelings are just that—only thoughts and feelings. They don’t define us as individuals, we do not have to become the thoughts or feelings or take immediate action based on the fleeting experience in our mind and body. Rather, ideas and emotions are important information to listen to so that we can learn how to let them move us deliberately into the next action.
The key to calm and purposeful action is to bring gentle curiosity to thoughts or feelings as they arise. Learning to first notice and name the belief or emotion we can ask ourselves what these may be telling us about a situation, relationship, or other concern. From that place of interest, we can invite non-judgment when we examine those messages and decide how we want to respond. In a moment we can turn negative thoughts and unpleasant feelings into action that bring understanding, relief, and redirection.
I asked someone to help me get my body and bike off the ground that day, dusted off my dignity, and was reminded that part of the ride is to enjoy the thrill of the open road while remaining mindful to stay focused where I want to be traveling.
Practicing Increased Awareness
When you notice a thought or a feeling, ask yourself the following questions to help you keep your eyes on the road.
What would I call this feeling?
What does this feeling want me to understand about this [situation, person, concern]?
Does this thought support my values?
Is there a way to reframe this thought so that it leads me to move in a direction that feels in line with myself?
Is there a different thought that I would prefer to practice?
If it’s hard to make sense of your feelings or thoughts, there is hope. Call today to learn if therapy could help bring clarity, vitality, and balance to your life.
In peace and good health, Sandra