When We Face Our Fears

The Depths © 2023, Sandra Carey

“That was by far the most scared I have been in my life!” I exhaled this to my dear friend as we pulled into the rental car return lane. I was shaking with adrenaline and crying from exertion. I had just driven two of the most harrowing, non-stop hours of my life and, frankly, was just grateful to be alive. I had somehow navigated single-lane, curving roads, with forests and ravines on either side, in the dark of midnight, while it was pouring rain, and shrouded in fog. For miles and miles, I couldn’t see but a car length ahead of me and there was always some other car riding my tail. I had to face the burning fear because there was no pulling off to the side of the road. It was challenging to make it, but with a few key steps of awareness and concentration, it was possible!

Last time, I wrote about acknowledging the ways we may feel out of control in our lives, and then shared some thoughts about how to grow through acceptance and action. Accepting what we may not have control, could temporarily lead to some feelings of fear. Fear is a natural response to any perceived threat, and our physiological response is to either run from it, face it, or freeze and do nothing. Just like feeling out of control, we can learn to work with our fear to decrease the stress and anxiety of the winding road of life. We can practice habits in our daily lives so that we can better navigate the obstacles that may lead us to doubt what is possible.

Working With Fear

Here are a few suggestions for working with fear. May the road ahead of you be paved with possibility and peace.

• Name the Fear

  The first step in overcoming fear is acknowledging it exists. What we name immediately loses its power over us.

• Get Curious

  Ask “what” questions about fear. What is the worst outcome I could encounter? What is scariest about this? What do I want the outcome to be in response to this fear?

• Face the Fear

  When safe, and possible, gradually expose yourself to the types of situations that you experience fear. Afraid of using the phone in my early adulthood, I started making one phone call a day until the point where I now don’t think twice about dialing someone up to ask for what I need or say what I have to say.

• Practice Relaxation Techniques

  Practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help counteract those symptoms and can equip us to plug into those techniques when fear pushes us to flee or freeze.

• Seek Support

  Get support from trusted family, friends, or a therapist. Sometimes, fear will decrease if we talk to someone who understands what you are going through.

• Be Positive about Possibility

  Focusing on positive thoughts and experiences can help overcome fear. Try to visualize a positive outcome or focus on the benefits of the situation.

Remember, fear is a normal emotion, but you don’t have to let it control your life. Overcoming fear takes time and practice. It is possible with persistence and determination.

Finally, don't be too hard on yourself if it takes longer to overcome fear than you would like. Be patient and celebrate small victories along the way. Try to learn from your experiences and use them to build confidence and resilience for future challenges. It may not be easy, but it is possible!